Orgasmic Birth
I’ll never forget the first time I heard the expression “orgasmic birth.”
What I do remember is listening in on a conversation some women (who I totally judged as “Tree Huggers”) were having at the table next to me. The conversation seemed to center around a phrase I had never heard before, or even imagined “orgasmic birth”…wut? 😦
WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT?...?! “orgasmic birth?” I had to keep myself from laughing, as my eyes rolled to the far regions of the back of my head. In thinking about my own birthing experience, there was nothing “orgasmic” about it (or so I thought at the time). My birthing experience was straight out of the movies, crying, screaming in pain, and cursing at the nurses “I am breathing Goddammit”. And the nurses weren’t very nice to begin with either. Except, that one nurse who helped me with my back labor. She was an angel.
Showing up to give birth and my not knowing a damn thing about how to give birth, was not a good idea for me. So my question over the years has become, "why didn’t I know then what I know now." It’s not like giving birth was something new when I was pregnant. Umm we’ve been doing this from day one. Where is the passed down birthing wisdom?
Over time, I realized I did have an orgasmic birth, even in the midst of all that chaos. I just didn’t have the words for it then to communicate that. That’s what I experienced in that split second. Something extremely primal happened to me. I still remember the feeling of awe, and it still pisses me off that I was unaware at that time that that’s exactly what was happening to me…I actually did have an “orgasmic birth.”
Who knew? Not me! I’ll tell you who did know…those “tree huggers” they knew what was possible.
I truly believe that my passion for all things pregnancy and birthing is rooted in my belief of being robbed of having the awareness that it was possible for me, and you too, to have an “orgasmic birth” experience.
I also believe the only reason this sounds ridiculous to some of us is because over and over again, it’s not what we see or hear about when it comes to giving birth. After years of conditioning us with movies and TV and so many horror stories from friends and family, this is what gave us a vision of what giving birth would look like—frightening!
I showed up at a friend’s house years ago to give her a prenatal massage. When I got there she started going into labor. We scrambled to get the tub ready for her water birth. After getting her comfortable and into the tub I couldn’t get over how calm and serene she was. She never made a sound; she looked like she was sleeping. And then all of a sudden I saw bubbles springing up in the tub and then poof a baby came bobbing up. I couldn’t believe what I had just witnessed. I had never seen anyone give birth this way even though at the time I had only been to maybe three births, and all three were all screaming and crying like I was...so how did she do this?
In 1985, when I was preggers, there was no Google, and nobody I knew was talking about prenatal massage or Yoga or anything to help prepare me and keep my ass calm for the most amazing thing I would ever do…give birth! Doctor visits were routine. I don’t remember getting any advice on preparing for birth or if they even offered birthing classes!
I was a nervous wreck for most of my pregnancy. Being in an unhealthy relationship at the time and keeping that secret from my family and then my Dad passing when I was six months pregnant was a lot to deal with. And if that wasn’t enough, I was convinced that I was going to have a heart attack and die right on the table while giving birth. How could I not? After all, 32 is kind of old to be having your first baby (so I was told many times). I sure could have used an online group back then!
So why didn’t I know then what I know now? The term "natural childbirth" was coined by obstetrician Grantly Dick-Read upon publication of his book Natural Childbirth in the 1930s, which was followed by the 1942 Childbirth Without Fear.
Well if you go back to the early days of the OB/GYN, who were mostly men, it’s easy to understand how natural birth and all the birthing wisdom that came before Obstetrics from the Midwives who were birthing all the babies, was nowhere to be found.
Just for shits & giggles I’m adding a link from an article I found in Redbook, by Charlotte Hilton Andersen “What Is Was Like Giving Birth In Every Decade Since The 1900’s”. The history of Obstetrics is shocking! They took a natural process and turned it into a pathology. It’s a wonder any of us survived and some of us are still fighting today just to get the damn enema. Please read this article it’s so interesting and Charlotte even manages to give it a sense of humor. It’s important to know our history!
1910 Fun fact:
90% of doctors had no formal education at this time, according to The Flexner Report, a comprehensive overview of medical education and practices.
yikes!
So how does one go about having this, so called, “Orgasmic Birth”?
Step #1
Believing that it’s possible. You’re aware of the fact that you too could possibly have what my friends the “tree huggers” call an “orgasmic birth.”
Step #2
Creating a true mind/body connection. This takes practice and a lot of it. Pregnancy is the perfect time to adopt a true mind/body connection. So many changes happening so, becoming aware of your posture (where are my shoulders) and practicing focused breathing is key.
Step #3
Find a birth class that is not hospital-based (sorry–not-sorry hospitals). Look to birthing centers or find a Doula in your area. They sometimes teach birthing classes. Look for a hypno-birthing, conscience birthing, mind/body birthing - there’s all kinds of names for it, and you can also find some good classes online. If you can find a private birth class that’s even better. When you know the process and you have the tools to work with it, it helps you to change the way you look at it, you move from fear to faith and that is very powerful. Don’t be afraid be a force!
Step #4
You know I have to throw in about massage. Regular bodywork/prenatal massage is vital to your sense of relaxation. What does true relaxation feel like? Massage helps get you to that place.
It’s really that simple. Giving birth is not rocket science. Women been doing this since day one. If you’re healthy and have had an uneventful pregnancy, meaning no medical issues, then you are in the highest group to achieve a calm, centered beautiful orgasmic birth. At least now you know; I sure wish I did.
Don’t miss out on the opportunity to at least try for that natural primal birthing experience. The epidural is always in the background if you should need it for any reason.
Through my research and the experiences of so many women who embraced hypnosis as a tool and all the positive feedback I hear, I feel self-hypnosis programs for birthing are the best way to go!
Learning how to follow your natural impulses, when it’s time to give birth, through calm awareness is a game changer. Empower yourself throughout the pregnancy by practicing how to relax the body and focusing on your breath.
Orgasmic birth is a real thing! And you, my friend, deserve the best orgasm ever…why not!
The major tenet of the HypnoBirthing philosophy is “the belief that every woman has within her the power to call upon her natural maternal instinct to birth her babies in joy and comfort in a manner that most mirrors nature.”
Grantly Dick-Read, Birth Without Fear; 1942
Have you had an orgasmic birth? Or interested in learning more?
Comment below!
#orgasmicbirth #dontforgetaboutmommy #selfcare #pregnancymassage #consciousbirthing #yougotthis