Birth Stories
While having a conversation with a pregnant client the other day, she asked me, “why do some women feel the need to share their terrible birth story?” “Good question!” I exclaimed. However, when I really gave it some thought, I asked myself, “who else can they just walk up to and start telling their birth story to other than a pregnant woman…?”
Would you ever, out of the blue, walk up to a total stranger and go into detail about your birth story? Noway! They would think you were crazy!
Giving birth, especially the first time, is a traumatic experience both physically and mentally. Whether the birth went exactly as you envisioned or went completely off the rails, you, my friend, are in need of some healing.
For those of us who feel let down by our birth experience for whatever reason or disappointed by the experience, you, especially, need even more healing.
I believe that some part of that healing is done by sharing your story, even though the listener you selected does not want to hear it.
In researching how to heal birth trauma, I found very few sites that recommended massage/bodywork. If they did mention it, there was no importance made on just how healing the bodywork could be—mentally and physically.
Massage therapy, the manual manipulation of soft body tissue to promote health and well-being, can provide relief from physical, emotional, and mental stress, and decrease levels of depression, anxiety, irritability, and other symptoms associated with trauma exposure. (Collinge, Kahn, & Soltysik, 2012). Jul 7, 2018
Nothing will change the birthing experience you had, but I’m convinced that the proper massage/bodywork (with someone who specializes in pregnancy/postpartum) is a necessary tool. Release the tension and anxiety you hold physically in your muscle cells surrounding the thoughts of your birthing experience. Massage/bodywork will help you change the way you look at and feel about the experience.
Seeking out a mental health therapist who specializes in post-partum is something to consider as well. If, however, that is not an option for you, then maybe join an online ‘Healing from Birth’ support group to tell your story.
________________
Now, I would like to share two of my favorite birth stories: Tauri is a first-time mom and Anna with baby #2. Both stories were shared through text message and they are both testaments to the power of conscious mind/body birthing.
Tauri’s story via text
Hi MaryLou! Yes, it’s a crazy birth story! I had him in triage with the admin lady! My mum and Ross missed it as they were stuck filling out paperwork in reception. He was definitely in a hurry to come out but I feel like I missed the first stage of labor all together. I was waiting for the contractions to become consistent. Five minutes apart for an hour before we went to the hospital and they just never did.
I was in my bathroom trying to figure out what was going on. All of a sudden, I had the urge to push and I reached down and could feel his head! Almost didn’t make it to the hospital at all!
I’ve been meaning to write and send you photos. I’ve actually been wanting to come and see you, but I’ve just started a new job and Ross is away so when he’s back and I have some time. Can’t wait to see you and tell you all about it!!
My text back. Omg he is beyond adorable & all that hair!! I cannot wait to hear this story!!! Do you think the balloon video and the breathing techniques are what helped you get to that point so quickly? Don’t forget to use your bed-buddy on your shoulders.
Tauri: I think it was the spiraling video you sent me that helped me the most. There was that one woman who said she would imagine expanding instead of contracting.
The whole week before he was born, Ross was doing the acupressure points on me, we would do 30 squats before bed, I did 100 pelvic rock, and the doorway exercise too. My water broke 3 days after my due date and I felt pretty good with no pain at all. The nurse said I could wait at home for around 6 hours before I came in. I had no signs of contractions but about 3 hours later I started to get back pain and pains going down the inside of my legs which I found strange as I hadn’t read about anyone who had leg pain. So I had a bath, which really helped with the pain. And if I wasn’t in the bath I was leaning over the bed and spiraling my hips, which helped the most. I had a shower and washed my hair while I was in transition without realizing it. (this just blows my mind…that’s some mind control) I just kept talking myself through each step. I’d say to myself “just wash the shampoo out, wash it out, ok, only one more step, just put the conditioner in and now wash it out, wash it out you’re so close.” I was constantly questioning myself though and what part of labor I was in because contractions were never consistent. At one point I said to Ross I wasn’t sure I could do it. But looking back, that was a sign I was transitioning into the pushing stage! It wasn’t until I felt his head that I realized this wasn’t a regular 18 hour first time labor. But I questioned myself all the way into triage. I was walking into the maternity ward and must have looked fine because they didn’t believe that I could feel his head. And because they didn’t believe me, I started to doubt myself too. In hindsight I wish I stood up for myself and made them get my mum and Ross there because I knew as soon as I stopped standing, as I felt I was able to hold him in better and got onto the bed the little baby was going to pop out – which he did!
______
Aside from Tauri’s husband and mom (who came all the way from Australia to be at the birth) missing the birth, make sure you pre-register at the hospital. This is one of my all-time favorite birth stories. This was a true conscious mind-body birthing experience.
_______
Anna’s story. Another fave :)
Good morning MaryLou! I’m a little late in sharing this with you but wanted to let you know that baby Ben finally arrived on Nov. 27! He is just perfect and our family is completely in Love!
After all day of contractions and A LOT of walking that day, things finally started moving in the early evening after dinner. We checked into the hospital around 7pm and he was born at 8:53pm!!
The OB on call was not the doc I normally go to but she was amazing and I was able to labor on the ball the whole time until the very end! I had my Bed Buddy on, my husband sitting behind me massaging me through all the contractions while I was listening to Tracey Holloway. The entire experience, in my mind, was me sitting underneath a palm tree with gentle breezes while riding the surge waves smiling, breathing and making noises lol
Everyone was looking at me like I was crazy but every time the OB came in to check on me she was amazed at how quickly and smoothly I was progressing! All of a sudden, the urge to push came along and they barely got me to the bed when my water broke and came gushing out. The doc geared up as quickly as possible and all was in place. I was super calm and composed the entire time when suddenly I lost my audio of Tracey Holloway!! Out of the entire labor experience this was my only moment of panic!! Lol here comes the most “feared, painful part” and Tracey was nowhere to be found on my phone!
While pushing, I told the doctors to STOP and that I had to find my audio! I handed the phone to my husband who had no idea how to help me while the doc and nurses are staring at me with a deer in headlights look! The doc finally says, “wow this must have been an important part in her meditation.”
After a few seconds of fidgeting to find Tracey, the doc finally said to just follow her voice and start pushing. I remembered the push breathing from one of the videos you sent and that’s exactly what I did. In about 3 pushes–without screaming–baby was out and in my arms.
He was so clean and perfect and it was love at first sight. Instant relief and euphoria came over me along with a deep sense of happiness and well-being knowing that I did it!!
The labor and delivery went just as I envisioned it. Calm, peaceful and happy.
Guess what?! That is exactly how Ben has been since he came out of the womb!!! The entire hypnobirthing experience was so beautiful and special to me and I truly have you to Thank for it!!
Afterwards, the OB told me that she’s witnessed many births but none quite like the one she experienced with me. She complimented on how amazing I did and immediately started inquiring about all my “tools” and how I did it!!!
What was even more incredible is that there was another couple who checked in with us…I overheard she was 35 weeks and was having some issues. We ran into them again as they were taking me to the mommy and baby room and when they saw me with Baby in arms in the wheelchair less than 2 hours after checking in to hospital, both their jaws dropped! The aide pushing me couldn’t believe the priceless shocked face the husband gave me when he saw us fully done and delivered while they were still being checked out in triage!!
Mommy and Baby are doing fantastic and WOW what an incredible journey and delivery it was!! Now it’s time for the postnatal recovery!
_______
The powerful birth stories that are shared to me from my postpartum clients are amazing and very inspiring. For Anna, this was baby #2 and she was hoping for a more calm, centered and focused birthing experience then she had with birthing her first baby. Her practice and using the tools she learned paid off and I couldn't be happier for her!
It is my strong belief that proper and regular bodywork/massage along with some self-care tools play a big role in achieving that calm and focus that is required for a conscious birth.
Massage makes you aware of just how relaxed your body can feel, which is something most of us struggle with. “If only I could feel more relaxed.” I hear it all the time and have said it myself!
You have to be aware of what it actually feels like to be relaxed in your own skin before you can tap into the wonderful feeling of being relaxed.
Have a story to share? Comment below or email me!
#DontForgetAboutMommy #MassageAMom #MassageMe